Reflecting on Life

Real examination comes with the destruction of your current life.

“An unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates

Each year I engage in an exercise of reflection by writing down the main events in my life. I usually go back 5 years, but sometimes more, and I look for patterns, themes, failures, and, wins.

I put to paper what I have learned, what I’ve earned, who has joined and left my life, and, always, the whys. I carefully examine this snapshot of my life's milestone moments and lessons. I reflect on this, my story – or at least the story I'm telling myself.

Ultimately, this exercise helps me to understand my life's meaning and to measure how purposeful I've been. Looking back helps me gain clarity on what's next in my life, and whether I am on a path I want to follow.

It also helps me to meet an important life goal: helping my children live a life that is based in abundance, health, wealth, and happiness. It helps me to clearly identify what lessons I want to pass on to them, so that they can learn from my mistakes and avoid making them themselves. As Warren Buffet says, "We all learn from mistakes, but they don't have to be your own."

So, I commit to what could be an uncomfortable self-examination.

I ask myself:  Am I just winging it, blowing in the wind, so to speak? Or am I living an intentional life that reflects the targets I originally set out to hit? What is the trajectory of my life? Am I living up to my potential?

For many, especially high achievers, their greatest fear in life is not reaching their potential. I admit that I feel this itch to meet my potential daily, and it’s one I have to scratch.

As I reflect, I recognize how each year has different focuses, as my values and perspectives continue to evolve. I find it interesting and instructive to see how I change. I find value in understanding how I assess and view my own history.

Conducting a “Proper” Examination

So, what does a proper examination of your life entail, and what are the results? Tech entrepreneur, Naval Ravikant, offers this perspective:

"Proper examination should ruin the life that you're currently living. It should cause you to leave relationships. It should cause you to reestablish boundaries with family members and with colleagues. It should cause you to quit your job... if it doesn't do that, it's not real examination. If it doesn't come attached with destruction of your current life, then you can't create the new life in which you will not have the anxiety."

That view is a bit extreme for me, but I do agree with his premise that a proper reflection requires looking deeply. Just as a snake periodically sheds its skin, sometimes we also must transform ourselves to become someone new. Sometimes we need to shed our skin to build a vision of a future that is bigger than our past.

There are no benefits to thinking small; that just leads to living a small life.

The time is right to begin your own life’s “proper examination.” It’s time to begin thinking big, and surround yourself with others who do the same. Taking time to conduct your own exercise of reflection could be life changing.  You won't regret it.

Want to Connect?

I’m happy to share more about my own reflection lessons, and I’d love to hear about yours! Just kick me an email @ jon@jonkbrooks.com.